I also have a fetish for painted toe nails on feet that have a high arch with a tan like hers, umm yummmie.
True Doctrine of Jehovah's Witness's
- Principle Belief - The Reverend Sum Dum Guy is our messiah, our living god, and whatever else he decides to be. We won't argue. If one day he tells us he is a fish, well then, he must be a fish.
- Secondary Belief - The governing body knows all, but doesn't tell us everything because it wishes to be really enigmatic. If the universe contradicts them, well obviously the universe is making a mistake, therefore to save confusion I will at all times just do whatever the hell the governing body of Jehovah's Witness says.
- Tertiary Belief - We must do all we can to make the Govering Body happy. After all, they are the Gods spokesman in these troubled times, and God was nice enough to bless us with their presence, and he built us this really cool compound called Bethel, and removed free and independent thought from our lives.
Witness's Holy Mission
- Give the G overning Body all our possessions, money and worldly goods. Everything, even little Billy's college tuition and the big 5 gallon penny jar that most people have, but never actually get around to counting.
- Go out into the world and beg for money to give to the Governing Body . If begging doesn't seem to be working then con people by saying it's for a world wide preach work. If they still won't fork over the loot and no one is around simply rob them. ( If it comes to this last option, also be sure and take any vital internal organ that can be sold on the open market)
- Submit totally to the governing bodys sick and deviant sexual whims. ( Old Women only )
- Be ready to give our lives for the governing body at a moments notice, after all, he they so much for us in return. Also since we were stupid enough to get suckered into joining a cult, we probably were not doing that much with our lives anyway.
- Find new members for the cult by use of pamphlets, flyers, hypnotism, subliminal advertising, loose sex ( for finding new recruits only ), peer pressure, classified advertisements, chat rooms, books (such as Sum Dum Guy's best selling science fiction books), and never discount outright lies. Also, if no one is around to see, blunt force trauma, followed by forced abduction with anal probing is always a viable means of recruitment.
- Destroy any and all enemies of the cult, as listed below. Knowing that in Gods infinite wisdom as directed throgh the govening body, the the govening body of Jehovah's Witness's only put them here on our planet to test our faith and determination to keep a sound mind and not be idots.